Head Spinning

So.. another month between posts… and things are about the same… but in some ways better.  I’ve made some decisions to start making some changes and that has brought a bit of peace… and a bit of anxiety… but more peace.

For the most part things around here have been business as usual.. except this year business as usual means Jim is on the road.  Seems like he’s gone about 5 out of every 6 weeks.  I’m getting more used to it.  Most weeks.  But then there are weeks where I’m busy at work, and Robert is over the top pushing boundaries and the dog wants my attention and I really think given half a chance I could run away.  But then Robert wanders by and stops to hug me and say I love you, or he falls asleep and I see my perfect little guy lying there looking like an angel, or I actually manage to get all the trash out on time, or we FaceTime with Jim and all wind up laughing together… and I realize, this too shall pass.  We will be fine.  Deep breath, move on.

I have been trying to make sure that when Jim is home we have some great family time together.  I know that all the travel is hard on him and he misses us when he’s gone and it’s a different hard from how it is hard on me.  And I know sometimes I take out my days frustration on him via the phone when he calls to say “hi” but it’s the exact wrong time, and I have to apologize later.  And I try to remember to apologize later. 

We had Good Friday off at my job and Jim just happened to be coming back into town Thursday that week so I booked us a room at Tan-Tar-A at Osage Beach.  It’s a short three hour drive, they have an indoor water park and there is a large outlet mall in Osage Beach (because Mama has now lost 40+ pounds and needed some new clothes – 4 sizes smaller thank you very much).

We left mid-morning on Friday and had a few hours to shop before checking into the resort.  Our room was perfect.  Two full size beds and a pull out sleeper sofa overlooking the lake.  And the pillows were to die for!  We got changed and headed over to the water park for a few hours before coming back and ordering pizza for dinner to watch the basketball games.

Someone was really excited about his new swimming gear…

After dinner he made himself right at home.

Saturday it cooler and rainy but we still managed to get in a few hours of shopping.  I found a lot of stuff.  Including a huge sale at the Coach Outlet.  I got a new bag with a matching wallet for less than half the price of the bag.. whoo hoo!

Afterwards the boys went back to the water park and I did some work I brought along that needed to get done (some deadlines just won’t wait).

Saturday night the Easter Bunny dropped off a present for Robert a bit early.  It was a new Goesei Dragon Megazord… he loved it and we didn’t hear a peep out of him for the longest time.

The next morning he woke up to a filled Easter Basket and got to hunt eggs.

On the way home we stopped off to see my Mom for a bit and take her some popcorn we had picked up for her.  Jim left for the week about 4 hours after we got home. 

Robert and I had a pretty good week.  Friday when I picked him up at preschool spring pictures were in.

Such a handsome young man…

And then… his first graduation portrait…

We’re not buying into the preschool graduation hoopla but I did buy the picture because it was cute and the first in a line of what I hope is many.  It will be fun someday to look back.

Saturday the weather in KC was gorgeous.  Jim spent the morning deep cleaning the carpets – thank you!  The winter and the dog have been hard on the carpet.  So nice to have them refreshed.  After that we needed to run to Brookside to pick up a ring I was having repaired.

Afterwards we headed to the Plaza to have dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and then took a horse drawn carriage ride.  The weather was perfect and we got to see a lot of prom goers all dressed up and Robert had a blast waving at everyone.

So new we’re getting ready for another week.  Jim is in town (yeah!!!).  I’m actually working from home two days this week to try to get some writing done in peace.  Next weekend World’s of Fun opens so Saturday will be spent riding the rides…. hooray!

The Real Stuff

It’s been a tough couple of weeks.  I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.  I feel like my best is not good enough in anything.  I feel that it wouldn’t take a whole lot to make me cry right now.  I have a pit in my stomach that won’t go away.  I can’t eat.  I can’t sleep when it’s time to.  Work is super busy.  Jim is out of town for the third week in a row.  He was gone to Texas last week and was supposed to be home Friday night but things didn’t go well so he re-booked on the 8am Saturday flight only to get a plane with mechanical difficulties so he didn’t get back until 5pm… and left again Sunday at 6pm.  Robert had pink eye last week so I had to get my nephew up here to stay with him and help me out and it was a huge help.  And it was nice to have someone else to help cover bedtime.  And I’m rambling but I just wanted to get all of this out there.  I’m hoping in 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months I’ll look at it and go, “Hey, you made it through that.”  Something needs to change but I don’t know what yet, or how to change it.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Project Life Week 3 & 4

I’m having a lot of fun changing up how I document each week.  Our weekdays are usually pretty hum ho but we do our best to make up for it on the weekends.

Death of a Salesman’s Wife

Jim’s been on the road the past two weeks.  Home for the weekends which is great but the weeks have been really long.  Of course, work is busy, I had to get a sitter one night each week… which Robert loves and that helps with the guilt.  I wound up working Monday even though it was a holiday.  To put it mildly, I was more than ready for Jim to get home yesterday.  I left work a few hours early and came home to take a nap (I seriously contemplated running away to the Holiday Inn).  Jim got home five minutes after I did.  He decided to pick Robert up from school and take him to Legoland so I could rest.  I immediately went to sleep and woke up a few hours later when the boys got home with d’Bronx pizza and we had an impromptu picnic in my bedroom.

Today, we were ready for some family fun so we headed to IncredABowl.  The original plan was to bowl, play miniature golf and laser tag but once Robert heard Laser Tag we dumped golf to do two rounds of it.  It was awesome, just what the doctor ordered.

Tomorrow it’s time to get caught up on house work and get ready for the week.  Jim is in town for one week before going on the road for two again.. ugh!  This schedule will repeat until at least June, I’m hoping it gets easier.

Just Another Manic Monday

Jim is in Muskogee, OK, tonight so it’s just Robert and I.  It was a super long day at work today but a really good one too.  I was totally spent by the time I picked him up but when it’s just me, he deserves my best.  He helped me fix his dinner (hot dogs, cottage cheese and apple sauce) and then he was ready to play.  I had been wanting to experiment a little with the continuous auto-shot on my camera so we decided to do both.  He loved the fact that pictures were being taken.  I knew I wanted to scrap several of these pictures for my Project Life and Cathy Zielske’s Tiny Templates worked perfect!  I love it.

I also managed to get video of him singing “Soft Kitty”.   Poor child, he has my vocal abilities so far.  Perhaps he’ll outgrow them.

Off to play some more with my boy. 

Project Life–Week 2

I spent most of the week still recovering from whatever this virus is.  Seems most everyone at the office has gotten it to one degree or another.  I’m a lot better but still not 100%.

This past week was just another average, ordinary week.  But I am glad that I got a few of the stories scrapped.  Robert is really into learning about money right now.  He’s chosen an expensive Ninjago set that he wants and I’ve told him he will have to earn the money for it.  Friday night at dinner I asked him if he had thought of any ways to make money.  His response, “out of paper”.  At church I always give him our offering check to put in the plate.  Today he unfolded it and asked, “Is this money?”  When I said yes he said, “It says, to Robert, you should keep me.”  ROFL… from counterfeiter to stealing from the church, I’m gonna have to watch this kid.

Saturday we were able to go check out the Sea Life Aquarium.  It was OK.  It’s small and only took about 3o minutes to get through.  The tanks are really well done there just aren’t a lot of them.  I’m afraid for the $20 admission that after the novelty wears off they are going to have a hard time getting people to come back.  We have season passes for it and Legoland (and felt basically the same way about Legoland) so we will see how many more times we get there this year.

Today Robert and I went out to visit my Mom and do some projects for her.  My nephew was home so Robert had fun playing with him.  I suggested a family domino game.  Mom, Donald and I went head to head.  I was winning and decided we could play one more round.  We used EVERY domino and the game lasted close to an hour… putting me on the road home an hour later than I had expected.  And… I lost my lead!  Donald was the champ today.  When we got home Jim had cleaned house, done laundry and gone to the grocery store.  Hooray!  He’s a keeper.

This coming week is going to be a bear.  Jim is in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, Monday and Tuesday.  Then on Thursday it’s looking like he will have to head to Mountain Grove in the Ozarks.  I’ve got late meetings Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  I’m tired just thinking about it.

Document

I’m doing well with my New Year’s resolution to document our life more.  This week we were pretty boring.  Actually I was sick most of the week.  Wednesday it was all flu like symptoms and I wound up staying home.  Ever since it’s been more like motion sickness and I feel like I’m on a boat.  I made it to the office Thursday and Friday although Friday afternoon I opted to work from home.  The dizziness made standing an adventure at times but it wasn’t horrible, just sort of a little adventure.

I have managed to do my photo a day for the week.  Hooray!!!  The prompts and doing it on the iPhone have really helped.

I’ve also kept up my Project Life and have the week already scrapped.  It’s kind of nice that most of the days are just average every day happenings.

Robert had his well child exam on Friday.  He is healthy, healthy, healthy!  Doc said he just looks great.  We are so grateful that he is overall a pretty healthy kiddo.  He rarely gets sick (knock on wood).  The doctor’s office was out of flu vaccine (I won’t mention that I’ve been trying to get Jim to make this appointment since November) so Jim had to take him to Walgreens today for his flu shot.  He was very brave and got a little teary before the shot but afterwards couldn’t believe how easy it was.

Yesterday I got to have  girl’s afternoon with one of my best friends who is in from Vegas for the holiday.  We went to La Bodega for tapas and then did a little shopping in Brookside and stopped to see our friend Dianne on the way home.  It was nice to have some one on one time with her.

Later on in the evening we headed to a new outdoor skating rink to see the Stanley Cup along with Ken Morrow’s jersey and gold medal from the 1980 USA Men’s Hockey Dream team.  It was cold but we managed to stay warm by the fires in line and get the picture.  I’m all about the photo ops   Afterwards we stopped at our favorite bakery for some cupcakes and came home to warm up.