Jumble of Thoughts

It’s Monday. It’s Monday that started with an 8:30am meeting. The day was full of interesting revelations and long heart to hearts. The boss and I came to an understanding that our jobs are both incredibly intertwined… we’ll sink or swim together.

A collegue of mine who I’m close to is having some problems at home with her daughter. My heart broke for her. I know her daughter… she’s such a great kid. I know that their family will come through this ok but I so wish it wasn’t them going through it. Prayers for her and her family if you will.

I got home and MissKim has posted a free template and I got to thinking about a layout I’d like to do about my dad. So now my head is all aswim of thoughts of him. Five years ago we were in the throws of his illness. This time of year is always a rush of memories. Days stick out. February 11th… the day his numbers were so bad. Mom had taken him to the hospital… by the time I got to the hospital he was in a room but not really responsive to his surroundings… it was the only time I entered his room when he didn’t acknowledge me. We enacted a DNR that night. We waited and prayed. The next morning he was back to “normal”. No memory of the day before. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was no longer a candidate for a surgery we had been waiting for. I actually chickened out on him… told him his numbers had been really bad the day before and Mom would tell him about it when she got there. Of course, my Dad being my Dad recovered enough he was back on the surgery list. The first bi-valve in Kansas City wired to work with a defibrulator. Didn’t work per say. He never really recovered from the surgery and died on March 25th… but as always he defied odds. Maybe it’s because it’s been five years and they say five is a big anniversary milestone, maybe it’s because I lost my brother – my only sibling last December, maybe it’s the turmoil at work, I don’t know what it is but lately I’ve been thinking of and missing my Dad more. I miss him so much. I would give anything for five more minutes. One more hug. Great, now I’m crying… all this emotion from the thought of a layout. Don’t tell me scrapbooking isn’t powerful.

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