I Feel Smacked

I probably shouldn’t be blogging right now. I’m totally upset with my husband. He just got back from three days in Sioux City, next week he’ll be in Amarillo. We were talking tonight and I asked when his flight was (he normally leaves on Sundays) he’s leaving Saturday. I asked why Saturday… it’s because one of the guys in Amarillo invited him to a bar-b-que on Sunday. I just felt smacked… excuse the hell out of me… you’re leaving us a night early for food??? Because you thought it sounded fun???

Then in his defense he offered up haven’t I noticed all the extra stuff he’s been doing lately? The extra stuff he has been doing is turning in his expense records before I start harping on him that I have to pay bills since we have to front the money on his trips… and his cell phone, he’s HORRIBLE about paying his cell phone bill. I’m the money queen, I have to figure out having enough money to front the trips and still pay our bills. I harp him about the expense account because a couple of years ago he screwed it up so bad we wound up paying about $900 out of pocket that we never recovered in late fees and interest. That’s when I took over.

We recently found out there are some tax problems in his past… found out when they took our refund… ugh. And we’re not getting the wonderful rebate everyone else is salivating over. We’re on payment plans with the state and feds and I’m the one working on making sure we pay them both off fast so that we can not having this looming over our heads anymore. Of course, I’m the one who discovered this and worked to assure him we can take care of this. I figured out what happened.. he didn’t file the year his first wife died, totally understandable – she died in February, taxes would have been the last thing on my mind too. This all after finding out his Mom screwed him out of the $45,000 she owed him for paying her mortgage off by leaving the house to Steve instead of him like was promised. Does he notice the extra stuff I’m doing??? Planning our big summer vacation to tag along with one of his business trips and then to be visiting his family in Arkansas instead of going on of the thousands of other places I had thought we could go with our rebate check? Taking time off from my job to get ready when his sister and her family came to visit? Taking care of Robert 24/7 when he’s gone? There have been times lately when I feel like a single parent. Putting up with the fact that he’s been sick so much this winter and the job always gets the best of him… he went to the doctor today and then back to the office instead of coming home and resting, we’ll pay for that this weekend when he’s tired and still trying to recover.

So, apparently for me the straw that broke the camel’s back was him leaving on a trip 15 hours early. Maybe I’m being unreasonable but I miss him when he’s gone. I consider weekends our family time. This week when he was gone Robert went from laying on his stomach to sitting up on his own for the first time, Jim finally saw it tonight… four days later. He tells me he misses us terribly when he’s gone but then he jumps at the chance to go to a bar-b-que with a guy he sees a couple of times a year when he flies down to do trainings. He never does any guy stuff here in town. It’s not like I don’t encourage him to go to the cigar shop and hang out with the guys or find someone to go golfing with on a Saturday morning.

OK… now I’ve vented… I still feel smacked.

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