We’re all learning lessons around here… and it’s not always easy. I had a fun day of shopping and errands planned for today… and I say fun day sincerely because Robert loves to go shopping. Well, this morning he was being an absolute bear about getting dressed and finally after the third time telling him if he did not get dressed he was not going shopping I had to stick to my threat. He didn’t get super upset but he did seem to understand that we weren’t doing what we were going to do and he did ask this afternoon if we were going shopping and I told him no, I would go alone when Daddy got home. Before time to get dressed he was busy in the kitchen cooking up a storm. He loves playing at this rack. I thought it was funny he brought his Lego box in to use as a bench.
I’ve been reading The Happiness Project and trying to apply things monthly as Gretchen did in the book. The marriage chapter really hit home to me. Jim and I love each other and have a good marriage but I realized there are things I can do to make it a great marriage. I’m not the easiest person to live with at times… I’m not a stark raving looney bitch but there are times when I can get a bit terse. Most of the time it’s because Jim hasn’t done something I thought he should have… not maliciously he just didn’t think… actually, he just didn’t think how I would. Some of the goals in the marriage chapter are:
— Quit nagging
— Don’t expect praise or appreciation
— Fight right
— No dumping
— Give proofs of love
I do OK in the don’t expect praise or appreciation department. In reality it’s probably Jim does really well in the giving praise department. My “nagging” is probably more a case of expecting Jim to read my mind sometimes. Fight right is a minimal issue… Jim does not fight… he refuses to which can sometimes drive me nuts and in thinking about that it led me to the realization that part of my frustration sometimes is Jim just lets everything roll of his back… I don’t. The no dumping is not a huge problem… I have my girlfriends and my blog for that. The proofs of love is another one that struck me too. Doing the little things. Also, we need to start carving out more time for us. It’s so easy to get into what Robert is doing and spend all our time making things about him that we sometimes forget to really connect daily.
Jim has no idea that I’m doing this Happiness Project. He may or may not realize that I’m reading the book. It will be interesting to see if at the end of March our marriage is happier. I think since most of this is my stuff that I will be happier. Just realizing that I can’t expect him to read my mind or automatically do something the way I would and being conscious of that before I roll my eyes or make a sarcastic remark will help.
To help us connect a bit tonight we played Scrabble Slam… it’s a fast paced Scrabble type game with cards and you only make four letter words. For giving proofs of love I gathered up all the trash tonight after Jim went to sleep. Tomorrow is trash day and he said that if I took care of the litter box he would do the rest. After he went to sleep I was still up so I decided I’d gather up all the trash. I was going to leave the compactor to him but then I realized he would get up in the morning, see the bags, take them to the curb, not think about the compactor not being emptied… then I would get up and be miffed that I gathered up everything and he didn’t empty the compactor… or he would empty the compactor and not replace the bag (which drives me crazy).
There’s a lot of other stuff in my happiness project too. I’m trying to follow the year the same way Gretchen did but am having to play catch up since I just started reading the book in February and she started hers in March. Each month more “goals” are added. I’ve actually made an excel spreadsheet that I go through nightly and check off what I accomplished that day. I also put some of my 40 by 40 goals in it. Speaking of 40 by 40 goals, we finally got a replacement battery for the scale and I was surprised to find out that I have lost 18 pounds since November. That’s a result of a lot of chasing Robert and not eating at restaurants every day for lunch. It also means that if I lose 40 more pounds by my 40th birthday I will be at my goal weight (actually 5 pounds under). I just switched back to diet soda so that should help too. I must say Coca Cola Cherry Zero rocks. I know I need to be drinking more water but baby steps, baby steps.
Tonight I started on my crayon pocket notebooks for Robert that I found here. Here are my supplies before hand:
And the covered note pads. Tomorrow I will get the elastic sewn and the crayons attached to the back. I found these cool two sided crayons on clearance at Target so he’ll have 10 colors instead of 5. I think he will be really excited. I also covered the front and the back of the notebook with the paper.