The results from my Mom’s tests are in. It’s not the worst case scenario… it’s the second worst case scenario. Stage three squamous cell lung cancer. It’s what I was expecting but I was surprised how much the words still pierced my skin when he said them. It’s not good. It’s inoperable and incurable. It IS treatable. There is HOPE that we can get her to remission with a combination of radiation and chemotherapy. She will go tomorrow to be evaluated to see if they think that she will be able to physically tolerate the treatment. The doctor gave no indication life-expectancy but the statistics are grim… even with treatment. He did recognize that she is a fighter, and she is in full fight mode.
I was brave in the doctor’s office. I cried my eyes out the minute I was locked safely in my Jeep… but then I had a meeting to go to, and a grant to deliver. Life is not stopping because of this… I’ll settle right now for having it slow a bit. We will know more tomorrow. I’m not ready, but I haven’t been given a choice.
Robert is officially four! He actually turned four yesterday but since I had some things going on that could not be rescheduled, I told him all week Friday was his birthday. I felt kind of bad about it but it was unavoidable… and he’s four so he doesn’t know the difference. And he had a great day. He told me tonight that, “This is the goodest birthday ever!”
He woke up and we did presents. We got him a LeapPad and he loved it.
Then we went for our traditional birthday portraits. I can’t believe how grown up he looks. Where did my baby go???
I love being his Mom. He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s loving. He will jump up when I pass by on the couch, throw his arms around my neck and say, “I like you Mom!” He’s also been known to curl up in my lap and say, “You’re my best friend”. He has a great sense of humor. His smile lights up a room. He says “please” and “thank you” without having to be told. He truly loves anything you do for him. When we did cake tonight he thanked me for it. He currently loves anything Toy Story, Oso Bear, Pirates, Fire Fighters, trains, musical instruments and Darth Vader. His “must have” things include dolphin pillow, his blue blanket and his Buzz Lightyear action figure. He recognizes numbers and is starting to take an interest in letters and reading. His favorite foods are still pancakes, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, cottage cheese, bananas and apples. He loves apple juice and chocolate milk.
He’s having three straight days of partying. Today with just Jim and I. Tomorrow Uncle Ward (and the girlfriend) are coming for cake and ice cream and Sunday we’re having a party at Grandma’s house.